Small Print Detective Pillows

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

Don't Forget to Read the Small Print - Thank you that will be £20

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

Micro and Macro Department,

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

Don't forget to read the small print.

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

Fine Print Letters

Devil in the detail

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

When pedants take a break.

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

'Wait a minute! I think our line has been tapped.'

"He's hit, and he's hurt. Now we'll follow his audit trial and finish him off."

Forward Planning - The key to Success

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'

'How do you measure the success of your blog?'

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

I'm sorry, sir, but the fact-checkers convention isn't until next week. Hotel.

"The fine print, in the contract, can be read only if held up to a mirror."

'There's only one piece left. C'mon, we can figure this out.'

Aways read the small print.

"I think oral sex is when they just talk about it."

Shipping contract.

ACME INSURANCE COMPANY, 'Of course, the death benefits don't apply if it's the Government that kills you.'