Symptom Collector Gifts

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

The only way to see the world is to see the world

Heading off with a packed bag

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

Stealing thoughts.

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

"Well, now we've seen it."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"Oh, no! My bucket list!"

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

'Note to self: Buy little recorder.'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

"No, I'm scarier."

"Travel changed me."

1000 different economic theories trading cards. Collect them all.

My first Boyfriend.

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

"Next!"

'We're going to have to pass on the painting - but we'll take a case of this wine!'

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"I'm feeling great but I'm worried that that might just be a symptom!"

'If I were you, I'd start doing those things on your 'Things to do before you die' list.'

"It's for people who have been using 'Obsession' too long."

"How's the self-diagnosis coming?"

"I wouldn't say your son is a bad child. He's gifted at disruptive behavior."