Symptom Collector T-Shirts

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

The only way to see the world is to see the world

Heading off with a packed bag

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

Stealing thoughts.

"Well, now we've seen it."

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"Oh, no! My bucket list!"

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

'Note to self: Buy little recorder.'

The nurses here are so slow. Could this blanket be any thinner? The buttons on the tv remote are too darn small. Although her health had improved, Mabel's condition remained critical.

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

1000 different economic theories trading cards. Collect them all.

"No, I'm scarier."

"Travel changed me."

'You're listening to no repeat radio where we never play the same song twice! Yeah! No repeat radio! Where you'll never hear the same song twice! Only on no repeat radio!'

"I don't look at it as bouncing from job to job, I'm merely gaining a broad base of experience."

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

"Next!"

My first Boyfriend.

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

'We're going to have to pass on the painting - but we'll take a case of this wine!'

We only go around once, but it can be quite the loop-de-loop!

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"I'm feeling great but I'm worried that that might just be a symptom!"

'If I were you, I'd start doing those things on your 'Things to do before you die' list.'

"It's for people who have been using 'Obsession' too long."

"How's the self-diagnosis coming?"