Symptom Seeker T-Shirts

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

Health MOTs will attract 'worried well'.

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Canine Scentipede

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

Pheromones.

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'I know I can't take it with me, but what about computer simulations?'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

Two men converse secretively

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

Excess

'I've learned that adding water to coffee only weakens the effect.'

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

'I don't know why, but our new natural perfume line just isn't selling.'

"That shampoo was delicious!"

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

"Next!"

'Aromatherapy? I like the sound of that!'

"Actually - he's rather your 'Me, Jane ' sort of boy!"

'You cant take him anywhere since his ex told him he had B.O.'

Acme Florist: Take Time For Some Aromatherapy!