Health Warning Collector T-Shirts

Beware of Falling Notice.

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

Warning: Not giving milk is hazardous to your health.

Man walks into 'Watch your step' sign.

A polar bear has slipped and is sprawled out on the ice next to a yellow caution sign that features a slipping figure.

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

First and last day as census taker...

Caution wet floors. . . Caution DRY ceilings.

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

Warning! Contains Salt...

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

'Panic over...it's not mumps just high blood pressure.'

Warning: If you are reading this sign, you are about to be brutally attacked by a knife-wielding, psychotic, maniacal, dangerous serial killer who is standing directly behind you.

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

"Miss, I'm familiar with the 'Fasten Seatbelt' sign, but what's with the 'Check Engine' light?"

'You can't say the government isn't trying.'

Malcolm realised too late that he didn't have opposable thumbs.

"So, when you looked up your symptoms, did it say to complain about it incessantly but never seek treatment?"

Quick Sand and Slow Sand

'Even hypochondriacs pass away...sooner or later.'

'Your present physical condition reminds me of my 401(K), worth about half of what it once was'

"They told me to consult with a doctor before beginning an exercise program."

"Yes, our cautiousness may be a bit excessive but we do have the lowest litigation rates in the industry."

'You're fine.'

Beware of dog (bomb vest)

"The latest car safety data is in, and it's still really really bad to crash into things."

'Your conservation area now meets health & safety standards'