Sympathy Cards Gifts

"Heh heh heh!"

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

Happy Easter

We make a Valentine's card out of edible flowers that's been dipped in chocolate. It's got EVERYTHING!

Thank you bubbles

Get well soon!

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

Cards, Missing You, Missing Ewe (a ram looking for a card for his loved one),

Looks like all your Facebook friends sent you holiday greetings cards.

'I'm looking for something that says 'I love you' without getting too personal.'

Thanks For Not Firing Me Cards

Hot flashes

I'm sending myself three Valentine's cards...that should keep my hubby on his toes!

Husband / Wife / On The Side

"No brandy? Just a gift card?"

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

Post early for Christmas 2010.

'But who comforts the comfort food? I'll tell you who: NOBODY.'

Sling

"It has a nice soft shoulder. You said you needed one to cry on, didn't you?"

Get Well cards. They're constantly coming up with new get well cards, but nothing sells as well as the one that makes it clear the sender had the same thing and worse.

Valentines for Real Estate

'Oh lovely, a Valentine Card: I wonder who it is from?'

2After using the Internet all day, Brad doesn't like any kind of popup."

'Cards don't send greetings, people send greetings.'

Mother's Day cards

Parp!

'Do you have one that plays the theme from Godzilla?'

Sympathy Cards

"My memory's so bad I can plan my own surprise party."

'Do you have one for a greetings card writer whose job was outsourced?'

Black Lives Matter: Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery.

'You are 14st 3lb..But then, you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.'

Type A Flu.