Syllabus Collector T-Shirts

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Sign my yearbook?"

Interdisciplinary studies.

"...and your ears! They're like silk purses!"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

The devil you know and his plus one

Sauce for the Goose

"Oh great, the printer is down."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

'A is for Arse.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

"Who has removed the appendix from the medical text book?"

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

"I have an app for that."

"Hahahaha doctor, I guess I'll see you in a week

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

Home Sweet Second Home.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."