Textbook Collector T-Shirts

'Ma, have you been reading my textbook?'

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

"We re-named our introductory classes."

'Professor McWit, crushed by an avalanche of Philosophy 101 texts, proves again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.'

Religious texts from heaven and hell find common ground...they are made in China.

"Who has removed the appendix from the medical text book?"

"There's a math book in your lunch bag?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Sign my yearbook?"

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Rare Books

Characters jumping out of a book.

Great British Eccentrics.

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.