Sword And Crown Lover Gifts

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Jack Gleeson

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Epic Battles

Decapitated coffee.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

"No, you don't need to slay a dragon or go on a quest to prove your love to me. I just want you to keep your castle a hell of a lot cleaner."

Pub Kendo.

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

Scheduel.

Swords for Making America Great Again

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Fencing Lessons

Battle.

I told you rust would set in if you went out in this weather.

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.

'All right, Lancelot — Have you got a woman in there?'

'Ready...and.....Rattle!'

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

Young man, I think you are wearing my hat!

"Have you given any more thought to my idea of using a sword?"

'That's no lady - she hasn't even shaved her armpits.'

Fun at the Office: Touché Break.

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

'Ever try beating a ploughshare into a sword?'