Swing Science Buff Pillows

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

At the Museum

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

Apples for sale

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

God Sneezes Out Creation

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

"Technically, it's a mammal."

Archimedes, Galileo, Copernicus

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Swinging

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"This never happened."

You must be this tall.

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"