Swimming Underdog Pillows

"The swim team is really feeling those school budget cuts."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

The trauma of losing.

"Eat my dust!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Haven't they found you a chair, yet Cludmore?'

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

“I’ve always wanted to learn to swim, but it’s never been more than thirty minutes since my last meal.”

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

Published but unread poet.

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

Stop the big guy!

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

Masochistic Soccer Fan

"I can't figure out why the 'dog paddle' isn't working for you."

'Determined little guy.'

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

"I rub my body with animal fat and swim around Manhattan."

"Way to go, guys! When I gave you that pep talk before the game I didn't actually think you'd score a goal!"

Balloons vs. Rockets