Swimming Pool Owner T-Shirts

"Did you remember to order a liner for the pool?"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"This feels like an accomplishment."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Fast food. Even faster food

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Today's special... donuts.

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

Try to guess the continent dining...

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

Kitchen Kapers

"This is our soft opening."

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

Hashimoto's Restaurant - Sushi Like Mother Used to Make!

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"The food isn't bad, but I don't care much for the floor show!"

Garlic Free Zone.

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."