Sweater Lover With A Twist Pillows

'Do red sweaters have that carcinogenic red dye #2 in them?'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Romance

Do it yourself books.

Tree Funeral

Christmas sweater alternatives

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

"Shouldn't have, you really."

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

Rock on Grandma!

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

'Good book?'

Ugly Holiday Sweaters

"Why can't you just wear a doggie sweater?"

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

"We have every visible wavelength in stock. What color would you like to filter out?"

"It was a crime of fashion."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

"We can only distract the shareholders with our ugly Christmas sweaters for so long."

"Everyone's always calling my sweaters ugly."

"As I near my 9th life, I feel I’m entering a post-curious, pre-fatalist phase of existence."

Keeping Warm

High in the Peruvian Andes, the alpaca sweater is born.

The hand-knitted Xmas jumper...

"What are you complaining about? You've been looking for an excuse to go off your diet."

'Well this is awkward.'

'Don't be silly, I like my sweaters a little big.'

"Haven't you guys ever heard of 'casual Fridays'?"

Free sweatshirts for our customers (sweatshirts read: Survived the last heating bill!)

'I thought I'd just crease a few book spines while I catch up on my soaps.'

Reindeer Sweater

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'