Swan Aficionado T-Shirts

'I didn't have time to shop this year so it's Swan-mart gift cards for everyone.'

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

Odette from Swan Lake

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Bashful in Nashville

"Dad, Dad, cage divers! Get the hacksaw and let's scare the heck out of them!"

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

"From downtown...the shark scores!"

'You go ahead and eat. I'm on a raw food diet and surfer isn't part of it.'

"I'll have a man overboard!"

Making fun of Starfish.

Wow. Worst Tunnel of Love ever.

"Little Jamie would like you both to know that he's now into sharks."

'And get this: just when I thought the worst was over, the media blasts me for 'opportunistic, predatory business tactics!' Boy, did THAT sting!'

'I think he wants you to play ball!'

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

Pandas talk about the P.M.'s visit to China.

"So I said 'Hey, not everybody likes jokes about shark-fin soup.' And? Oh, he apologized right away. Good! That was super-insensitive. No kidding! That's exactly what I said before I ate him."

Pirate Paddle Boat.

A swan grabs a hold of a kite string.

"Gladys, look! My kids made me a card for Mother's Day!"

"Can they REALLY be descended from wolves..??"

"I was so shy I hid to sound her out. When the echo came back, she sounded really good looking, and the rest, is history..."

You will be surprised by the wild birds that will appear in your garden.

Divers attache BITE ME sign to companion's oxygen tanks.

"So many acquisitions lately ... should we be worried?"

'Man eater?! No way, it was just a nibble!'

Odile

Shark Surfing the Waves.

'My, what large dentures you have, Grandma.'

'I'll have the surfer on a board, lightly sauteed.'

"Honestly, Edna, he just wasn't worth it!"

"Oh you had to cross the cattle grid, didn't you?!"

"I never should have eaten that third license plate."

"... And that one I tickled to death."