Swan Aficionado Pillows

'I didn't have time to shop this year so it's Swan-mart gift cards for everyone.'

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

Odette from Swan Lake

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Bashful in Nashville

"Dad, Dad, cage divers! Get the hacksaw and let's scare the heck out of them!"

Making fun of Starfish.

"I'll have a man overboard!"

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

'You go ahead and eat. I'm on a raw food diet and surfer isn't part of it.'

"Little Jamie would like you both to know that he's now into sharks."

'I think he wants you to play ball!'

'And get this: just when I thought the worst was over, the media blasts me for 'opportunistic, predatory business tactics!' Boy, did THAT sting!'

Pandas talk about the P.M.'s visit to China.

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

"Can they REALLY be descended from wolves..??"

"So I said 'Hey, not everybody likes jokes about shark-fin soup.' And? Oh, he apologized right away. Good! That was super-insensitive. No kidding! That's exactly what I said before I ate him."

You will be surprised by the wild birds that will appear in your garden.

"Gladys, look! My kids made me a card for Mother's Day!"

Pirate Paddle Boat.

A swan grabs a hold of a kite string.

"I was so shy I hid to sound her out. When the echo came back, she sounded really good looking, and the rest, is history..."

"So many acquisitions lately ... should we be worried?"

Divers attache BITE ME sign to companion's oxygen tanks.

Odile

'Man eater?! No way, it was just a nibble!'

Shark Surfing the Waves.

"... And that one I tickled to death."

"Honestly, Edna, he just wasn't worth it!"

"Oh you had to cross the cattle grid, didn't you?!"

"I never should have eaten that third license plate."

'My, what large dentures you have, Grandma.'

'I'll have the surfer on a board, lightly sauteed.'

'These new bendy wagons will be handy when pulling em into a circle.'