Swahili Scholar Gifts

'It seems the only tense I know in Swahili is the imperfect tense.'

Schrodinger's Black Box

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

Some Hamlet-based puns

Situation Tragedy.

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

"Young Montague's full of himself."

Disraeli Hopes for Church Backing against Irish Disestablishment

Eugene Ionesco

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

Dear Diary

William Shakespeare

Academic Boogie Down - 'Once you've taught Sanskrit, there is no going back to Caligula.'

"I can never remember, does 'barge' have one snake-head jackal, or two?"

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

You're too enamored of wealth, Al. As it says in the Bible, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle that for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Is that a regular Camel, or does it have a filter tip?

Ted Roosevelt, conviction cartoonist.

"All the world's a sitcom and we are but the uncredited extras."

'This is the last time I get a truck with a think tank.'

"I'm so nervous – my cat is here to see the play."

"To be or not to be."

'You never let us do ANYTHING!'

"Friends, Romans, heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals, transsexuals. . ."

4 Things Yogis Worry About

The unknown soldier: war grave.

"Then we're in agreement. There's nothing rotten in Denmark. Something is rotten everywhere else."

"I can't take another memoir."

Lincoln's Gettysburg URL Address

K-9 10k

Sir Rupert Murgatroyd

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill? I'd like to publish a case report on this one?"

'Next time you pick me up lose the open plan galley.'

A scathing stream of invective, wending its way, inevitably, to the sea.

British Occupation of Peking-Opium Wars