Royalty Scholar Gifts

"Enjoy your rain!"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

Czarcasm

"He's a guard dog."

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I screwed up royally!'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

DOWN WITH THE KING!, 'Do you know what the PENALTY is for disturbing the peace during wartime?'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'It's the Secretary-General of the United Nations -- are you here?'

Cat king.

'I couldn't get Parliament to outlaw Lady Godiva, but they agreed to regulate her.'

'It's amazing what you can get on e-Bay these days.'