Swag Collector Gifts

I Influence, Therefore, I Am an Influencer

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"Invest in technology."

Silly wig.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

A man taking a bow

'New Game'

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

Posh Easter Egg

I love the way barbecues take you back to nature.

Lady in a pretty dress

'My door is always open to all employees, but only until my air conditioner is repaired.'

An early Picasso painting is sold at auction - it is a painting from when Picasso was a child

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

The magic of April Fools' morning.

Swiss Army Stove.

"Psychiatric convention"

'I just found out my vintage Roy Rogers lunch box is worth more than my 401k.'

'Hi. Could you send over to my office everything in your display window?'

"You must see someone about your problem."

'Before computers and word processors, we were nerds with slide rules and very sharp pencils!'

Ok, the first challenge is to throw out all the cheap crap in the swag bag we just gave you.

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

"Live life with enthusiasm. Be attentive and eager to please! Sleep only at night! ...and never scratch the furniture!"

Ye Old Antique Computers.

'This milk smells funny.'

The Emporer's Clothes Boutique

"I spent so much time shopping for productivity tools that I forgot to work."

Fashion Week 2021

"Yale mom. Yale grandpa. Yale estranged creepy uncle."

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

"Hold yer fire! It's just a t-shirt cannon!"