Suv Seeker T-Shirts

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"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

On holiday.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

Bad fake tan day.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

French wine

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

"Privates Beach"

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

'I blame global warming!'

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

'Now try and relax - we're on holiday!'

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

Sunbathing in the park

"I need a holiday that guarantees perfect weather, good beaches and romance!"

Beach hats

"We're here to experience pleasure."

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

'It seats two comfortably.'

Beer Parasol.