Sustainable Slimmer Gifts

"I'm really good at diets, this is my 50th!"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Coexist. Coexhaust.

See you at the farmers market!

The eco club is starting a locavore movement here at school. "Loco" what? Eating fresh food, grown locally. So? So everyone eats healthier and uses less energy. Um � Ok. I'll tell my mom. Who are those people. Locobores.

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

"You had me at alternative milk."

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

I talked my new client into an eco-landscape. Well done. Walls using local stone. Native trees and plants. Plus

Shop assistant hands over 'eco' shopping bag, saying: 'Would you like a bag for that?'

Here's eco club's green-prom tip sheet. Let's see. Wear vintage clothing. Buy locally grown corsage flowers. Use biodegradable cups and plates. Eco club. This is so obvious. How about the tough stuff? Ok. Who knows where to recycle gel pads from push-up bras? The place that takes the fake hair extensions?

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

Tips for a green Christmas by Indian Wild Animals.

'In factory farms they're fed antibiotics, caffeine, antihistamines and even arsenic. We give them a lot less of the antibiotics, caffeine, antihistamines and arsenic.'

Where Pleather Comes From

How can I ensure I'm getting 100 orange juice? Buy an orange!

'We have a new line of eco-friendly shoes. They're designed to reduce your global footprint!'

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."

The youth shows responsibility!

Second hand store: 'LEFTOVERS AGAIN!'

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

"Let's save this gift wrap. I'm sure we can use it again. Remind me not forget about using this next year."

Is online shopping bad for the environment?

Walking here to the tavern allows me to decrease my carbon footprint and increase my bourbon footprint.

Your new car may be good for the environment but it's no good for shopping.

'I'd heard that they like to source their food locally'

'I want to eat healthy food, but it takes green to eat green.'

'Look! The health food shop has been hit by the recession.'

Our dance has to be sustainable. I'll send electronic invites. Eco Club. We can hang white LED Christmas lights. The food will be seasonal! Ice cream? W. Fester School.

Ikea for hippies

'I'm sorry, we can't give you a surgically inserted gastric band, as it appears you already have two!'

"... and that it's hypocritical to blame BP when it's us and our lazy, gluttonous lifestyle that perpetuate the destruction of an innocent planet. That's what I learned in school today!"