Suspicion Specialist T-Shirts

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

''Surprise' starts with an 'S', Wilkins! You're in the wrong drawer again!'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

Experts through the ages.

"I think that's one of those annoying flying drones we've been hearing about!"

'How come the rabbit didn't have good luck with the foot?'

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

Two men converse secretively

Net Zero Superstitions

"This isn't just another paper airplane. This one carries a camera and microphone."

Moby the Private Dick.

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

'Is there a doctor in the house we can trust?'

'And that's your idea of a desk calendar...'

'Our financial statement was delivered 'postage due'. Think that's a sign?'

'My phone's been tapped!'

'Oh dear. My husband looks suspicious.'

"I did the math, and I'm telling you I have two left!"

'It's not an audition, it's a job interview and please don't tell me to 'break a leg'.'

Rational explanations

I don't trust that guy.

'I'm a firm believer in not going out of my way to give employees the opportunity to test their honesty.'

'It looks fishy to me.'

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

"Stupid superstitious waste of money - what'd you wish for, a new vacuum?"

Compulsive behaviour therapy: Tread on a crack don't come back,

'What a lovely day!'

'Rex is superstitious. He refuses to play dead.'

"I'm not superstitious, but the internet connection broke down and the computer crashed just when I wanted to buy technology stocks..."