Suspicion Specialist Gifts

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

''Surprise' starts with an 'S', Wilkins! You're in the wrong drawer again!'

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

Experts through the ages.

"I think that's one of those annoying flying drones we've been hearing about!"

'How come the rabbit didn't have good luck with the foot?'

Diary of a DNA Cop

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

Net Zero Superstitions

Moby the Private Dick.

"This isn't just another paper airplane. This one carries a camera and microphone."

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

Two men converse secretively

'Is there a doctor in the house we can trust?'

'And that's your idea of a desk calendar...'

'My phone's been tapped!'

'Our financial statement was delivered 'postage due'. Think that's a sign?'

Rational explanations

"I did the math, and I'm telling you I have two left!"

'I'm a firm believer in not going out of my way to give employees the opportunity to test their honesty.'

'It's not an audition, it's a job interview and please don't tell me to 'break a leg'.'

"This mixture of herbs and spices will rid the casa of ghosts! I will send them fleeing into the night!"

'Oh dear. My husband looks suspicious.'

I don't trust that guy.

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

Compulsive behaviour therapy: Tread on a crack don't come back,

'It looks fishy to me.'

"Stupid superstitious waste of money - what'd you wish for, a new vacuum?"

We never went to the moon. The Youtube evidence is conclusive. Not the Van Allen thing again." "Van Allen." It is absolutely impossible for human beings to traverse the Van Allen radiation belt. Explain how the Apollo astronauts passed through that radiation belt without either dying or hulking out. They were exposed to a cat-scan's worth of radiation. It was supposed to be a rhetorical question.

'What a lovely day!'

'Rex is superstitious. He refuses to play dead.'