Suspense Enthusiast T-Shirts

Scared shadow.

"Hey! What's with the brick on the accelerator?"

'. . .Please make yourself comfortable in the Edward Snowden Lounge.'

Mafia Small Talk

'Do you every get the feeling you're being washed?'

'Would YOU polish your shoes to such a high shine if you were planning suicide, Inspector?'

"Well - I did say it was off the back of a lorry..."

"He's always been a master of suspense."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Police Feline Unit

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Do Not Resuscitate

Selling lemon latt�

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Speed Dating for Turtles

Faster, Georges, faster!

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.