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Board Reads: I Am An Insane Eye Doctor And I Am Going To...

Young Stephen King

"How much for just the ring?"

"This coffee seems a little staler every morning, Edwina!"

"Bring me a stem cell."

Librarian: 'Who is putting all the Math books in the Horror section?'

"It's your father's idea. He wants you to take quicker showers.'"

'You may see a great creation, Dr. Frankenstein... but I only see a great heck of a Product Liability Problem.'

"It's the co-op board!"

'Your antidote, m'lord...'

What to buy the Devil who has everything?

'May I ask what it's in connection with?'

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'

Horror writers has a creepy shadow.

"If you want him as a client, don't mention the FANG stocks. Master completely missed the boat -- and he does recognize the irony."

'I need you to change my mind on something.'

"Now, those pills you just took may produce some visual side effects."

Solar Frankenstein

Happy New Ear!

"No. I mean it's great that horror movies get your heart beating faster, but that still doesn't count as aerobic exercise."

Doll line: Quality Control - Too Creepy.

'You've changed.'

Unmotivated Horror Writer

'What?! I like tall women!'

'Come on kids - it's just a story!'

'For years after Hitchcock's movie, we got real respect.'

"Gary! This is why we can't have nice things!"

Terror in the Kitchen

'Men!'

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

'Willy, get me the pesticide! We've got zombies!'

Occupational Therapy

'Run for your like! That's no ordinary flesh eating zombie! That's my ex-wife.'

The Scream and Monsters

"It's the same old story, a few rotten werewolves and we all get a bad name. Go on, throw the ball.."