Suspenders Aficionado Pillows

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

"Underweird bras."

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

Effective Cuban vaccines

Master's Degrees of the Universe

'It was only a five minute job. Not worth changing out of his best clothes for'

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"Yeah! It was GREAT teaming up with Catwoman. I just wish she didn't sleep for 18 hours a day..."

Happy Brithday

"I don't care if Sales thinks you're a superhero, the cape violates the dress code and the mask is a security violation."

An Old-Timer/An Old Codger/An Old Geezer

Rejected Spider-man lunchbox ideas

"With all the cybercrimes corporate had to bring in a new guy, Supergeek."

Pizza Delivery Delays

"Damn these super powers!"

It used to be all about truth and justice. Now, mostly I fight for market share.

Joint Replacement Specialist has 3 boxes on desk: "Hip", "Hip", "Hooray."