Survivor Humor Fan Pillows

'Well, this is not a good sign: Can I have a look at that map of yours?'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

'You are here' sign on desert island.

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

Need tickets.

"What if I told you that everything you knew about slowly going insane on a desert island was wrong?"

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

No Loitering

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

"This better be high tide."

"At least my putting has improved."

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

That Bear Grylls eats some EVIL crap, I'm telling you!

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

"For the last time — there is no ‘other woman’!"

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

'I bet it's nice and warm inside!'

Eskimo in Igloo

Stay in school.

Snail in desert sees sign for shade trees.

NO FACILITIES