Survival Humor Fans Pillows

Crash survivor with sunglasses.

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

'You are here' sign on desert island.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you? Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees. Well, I'd like to have How to Get off an Island, by Archie MacGuyver. That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness. We really should have our own book review show.

"At least my putting has improved."

"This better be high tide."

"When you're voted out of "Survivor", I thought they just sent you home!"

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

'I told you. I'll be home with dinner just as soon as it dies.'

'I bet it's nice and warm inside!'

Stay in school.

Woman on desert island reads message she finds in a bottle: 'It's an ad for a diet club.'

NO FACILITIES

"Miss Reed, could you please bring me a palm tree and some ragged clothes?"

Koool sunglasses, only $10-.

Look! A penny!