Survival Humorists Pillows

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

Koool sunglasses, only $10-.

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

'You are here' sign on desert island.

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Man looks worried, as his fellow castaway reads book: 'Cannibalism for Dummies'.

"We both knew this day would come, Samantha... I'm leaving you and taking the kids."

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"This better be high tide."

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

"At least my putting has improved."

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

'I bet it's nice and warm inside!'

Stay in school.

"Will you quit listening to your ten all-time favorite albums and help me find some food!"

Look! A penny!

Woman on desert island reads message she finds in a bottle: 'It's an ad for a diet club.'

'Dear Santa, when I asked for a ship, what I meant was...'

"Karl, act like a stuffed porcupine!"

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