Survival Comedy Lovers Pillows

'Dear Santa, when I asked for a ship, what I meant was...'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'You are here' sign on desert island.

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

"At least my putting has improved."

"This better be high tide."

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'

'I bet it's nice and warm inside!'

'How long shall we wait until we start eating each other?'

Stay in school.

Koool sunglasses, only $10-.

Vultures wait on a desert island.

Woman on desert island reads message she finds in a bottle: 'It's an ad for a diet club.'

"Karl, act like a stuffed porcupine!"