Survivalist Humor Lover Pillows

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

'I've a nut allergy?'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

'You are here' sign on desert island.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Man looks worried, as his fellow castaway reads book: 'Cannibalism for Dummies'.

"We both knew this day would come, Samantha... I'm leaving you and taking the kids."

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

"This better be high tide."

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

'I bet it's nice and warm inside!'

Stay in school.

"Will you quit listening to your ten all-time favorite albums and help me find some food!"

NO FACILITIES

Koool sunglasses, only $10-.

Look! A penny!

'Well, this is not a good sign: Can I have a look at that map of yours?'

"Karl, act like a stuffed porcupine!"

'Dear Santa, when I asked for a ship, what I meant was...'