Survivalist Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'Dibs!'

Robinson Crusoe discovered that he was not alone on the island.

This mirage was brought to you by Aqua Pure bottled water

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

'You are here' sign on desert island.

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

Man looks worried, as his fellow castaway reads book: 'Cannibalism for Dummies'.

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"We both knew this day would come, Samantha... I'm leaving you and taking the kids."

Man on desert island with a sail attached to two coconut trees.

"This better be high tide."

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you? Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees. Well, I'd like to have How to Get off an Island, by Archie MacGuyver. That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness. We really should have our own book review show.

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

"Darn it! No more cups!"

'I told you. I'll be home with dinner just as soon as it dies.'

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'

'I bet it's nice and warm inside!'

Stay in school.