Survivalist Comedy Fan Pillows

"Hot water! Hot water!"

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'You are here' sign on desert island.

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"At least my putting has improved."

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

"This better be high tide."

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'

'I bet it's nice and warm inside!'

Stay in school.

Eskimo in Igloo

Look! A penny!

'Dear Santa, when I asked for a ship, what I meant was...'

"Miss Reed, could you please bring me a palm tree and some ragged clothes?"

Koool sunglasses, only $10-.