Survivor Humor Appreciator Pillows

'We're the only creatures that can survive a nuclear holocaust, yet size 10 Reeboks scare me to death.'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

'You are here' sign on desert island.

Man looks worried, as his fellow castaway reads book: 'Cannibalism for Dummies'.

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

"This better be high tide."

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

"When they guaranteed delivery anywhere, anyplace, they weren't kidding."

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

'I bet it's nice and warm inside!'

Stay in school.

Look! A penny!

"Will you quit listening to your ten all-time favorite albums and help me find some food!"

Woman on desert island reads message she finds in a bottle: 'It's an ad for a diet club.'

Koool sunglasses, only $10-.

"Karl, act like a stuffed porcupine!"

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