Survivalist Guru Gifts

Preparing for the Apocalypse Line

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'Arf! Arf!'

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

Desert island dweller sinks in sand.

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

Island and man

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

Drawing on an island.

Women

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"Don't quit now, we're halfway there!"

'Before you begin, I'd like to thank you for coming in early to do this on such short notice.'

Early detection was rarely helpful.

"I really hate sales meetings"

Look on the bright side, at least we're keeping our heads above water

Desert crawler following water

"Anyone know how to prepare sushi?"