Survey Seeker Pillows

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

"I had a two-part dream last night."

"No opinion, eh? Well, I'll put you down as 'lair.'"

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

Surveys and economic interests

First and last day as census taker...

"It's ten o'clock, and seventy-seven per cent of the people think all is well!"

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

Trying to hold on to the question.

"Excuse me, sir - I'm conducting a survey about stress in the workplace."

Questioning

Surveying.

"Good evening. Can I start you off with a customer satisfaction survey?"

"And finally, would you say your fear of crime has increased?"

'...and how satisfied are you with the food? (1) very satisfied,(2) satisfied,(3) needs improvements.'

Focus Group: "Better or worse? How about now? Better or worse?"

Suggestions Box

"McNab here is with our consensus engineering department."