Survey Lover Pillows

'Oh for PETE'S SAKE LENNY NOT right now! I'm in the middle of Conducting a survey!'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

First and last day as census taker...

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

"Shall I put that down as a 'Don't Know' then?"

Surveying.

This survey will only take five minutes and will help me improve future floods.

"And finally, would you say your fear of crime has increased?"

'...and how satisfied are you with the food? (1) very satisfied,(2) satisfied,(3) needs improvements.'

Suggestions Box

Focus Group: "Better or worse? How about now? Better or worse?"

"McNab here is with our consensus engineering department."

Gate has 'beware of the dog' sign. Dog has a clipboard questionnaire and asks: 'Excuse me, could I have five minutes of your time?'

"d you say, 'better the devil you know,' or 'throw the rascal out' or 'other'?"

"We've been out surveying too long."

'Government performance targets reach unprecedented levels.'

Mori, Ipsos, Gallup, just nosey

"I'm taking a survey. Do you prefer to be growled or barked at?"

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

"I'm sorry, sir, but this survey does not allow for that opinion."

Regulators claim practices are overloaded with patient surveys.

'Sir, may I have five minutes of your time?' - 'Sure, I can do 9.30 to 9.35 next Tuesday.'

'Thank you for verifying your name for us, Doug. We're going to start with some multiple choice questions.'

Mr. Frog. Poll. Poll. I'm not looking forward to this. Amphibians can never make up their minds --- first it's one way and then the other.