Surrogate Pillows

Surrogate patchwork mom

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

"So, have you two fallen out again?"

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"Don't repeat this."

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

"They're expecting their first baby by surrogate mother!"

"He fought like hell."

Assisted pregnancy for same sex couples

'A bike this nice, I didn't think you'd mind me bathing it in your bathtub. Do you have an extra blanket, it'll be sleeping in our room.'

"If you want to charge a man for sex, you have to do it like everyone else - slowly, over time, beginning with dinner."

surrogates Mothers Association (wombs to let)

'This one was hatched within the sound of Bow bells.'

'If we hurry I can still catch the third period.'

A stand of Mother's Day greeting cards for different types of mothers

"I'm a surrogate birth mother for hire. How do I claim my income?"

"Ever notice the older you get the more you stop repeating yourself."

'Neo-extended family'

"Will you be our surrogate?"

So, yes, anytime a client wants to observe their pets' surgery...

'A margarita, to take out please.'

Performance.

'I'm a substitute but I don't believe Mrs. Carlson lets you watch TV all day.'

'Meet my mothers: biological, surrogate, adoptive and step...'

Test tube Stork

'What's all this? Haven't you people ever seen a prostatectomy before?'

"If we don't find anything wrong on these we'll take some more."

'What do you have for the recently subpoenaed?'

'Well, you would have a nasal voice too if you had a nose like mine...'

"But I don't want to get well, I'll have to go back to school!"

My new app lets me change my voice to sound like anyone. I can sound like Beyonce