Surrogate Gifts

Surrogate patchwork mom

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"So, have you two fallen out again?"

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"Don't repeat this."

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

"They're expecting their first baby by surrogate mother!"

"He fought like hell."

Assisted pregnancy for same sex couples

'A bike this nice, I didn't think you'd mind me bathing it in your bathtub. Do you have an extra blanket, it'll be sleeping in our room.'

"If you want to charge a man for sex, you have to do it like everyone else - slowly, over time, beginning with dinner."

'If we hurry I can still catch the third period.'

'This one was hatched within the sound of Bow bells.'

"I'm a surrogate birth mother for hire. How do I claim my income?"

A stand of Mother's Day greeting cards for different types of mothers

surrogates Mothers Association (wombs to let)

'Neo-extended family'

"Will you be our surrogate?"

So, yes, anytime a client wants to observe their pets' surgery...

'A margarita, to take out please.'

'I'm a substitute but I don't believe Mrs. Carlson lets you watch TV all day.'

Performance.

'Meet my mothers: biological, surrogate, adoptive and step...'

Test tube Stork

'What's all this? Haven't you people ever seen a prostatectomy before?'

"If we don't find anything wrong on these we'll take some more."

'What do you have for the recently subpoenaed?'

'Well, you would have a nasal voice too if you had a nose like mine...'

"My heart says no, my head says maybe, my you-know-what says yes."

"But I don't want to get well, I'll have to go back to school!"

"Guess what, Pop? The voice-activated ATM downtown thinks I sound just like you."