Surrealist Comic Lover Gifts

'How would you describe your shoplifting experience?'

"No, I'm not a mountaineer. I just didn't want to concede this shot."

International Women's Day

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

Diner.

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Moses separating his Laundry.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

No-Work Orange

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

Raincloud Umbrella

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Window Treatment

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

The Food Chain

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

Maybe there's something to this global warming after all.

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."

Zeus's Caddy