Surreal Humor Aficionado Gifts

"You might want to take the stairs. I think there's a problem with the Elevator."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"Tell me more about the voices in your neck."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but that's a fine-looking bad of flies you have there."

"It's good luck."

Self-torture.

"Right there in the caf�, Neal decided he could really murder..."

"All we seem to be catching is little ones. We must be too close to their spawning grounds."

"And now - Tomas de Torquemada, you have two minutes on your specialized subject; 'The sketches of Monty Python...'"

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

Trappist Monk Discord

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'What does it say, Dad?'

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

Clone Factory

"What a way to go."

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"Inactivists"

"Bad news. Our heads aren't lightbulbs."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Pokemon Get Lost