Surreal Comedy Gifts

A man's head disappears into his torso, replaced by a sign that reads: Next Showing 1:00

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

Fish with a human in a bowl.

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

"Bad news. Our heads aren't lightbulbs."

"What a way to go."

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

"Tell me more about the voices in your neck."

"I'm afraid we'll have no chance of curing your husband until we find out why he changed into a banana."

'Imagine the damage he could have done as a corporate accountant...'

"I'll be back in an hour—do not play with the weapons."

"So this is how it's going to be."

"First, let me put your mind at ease about that being an hallucination…."

An artist waits to ambush an easel

"You must be in seat 2D."

Man Exchanges Heads In Desk Trays

"All we seem to be catching is little ones. We must be too close to their spawning grounds."

Balloon Boy

A postal worker opens a bag of air mail.

"It's good luck."

"There you are!"

Alien watering hat stand

'Eleven foot poles - For things you wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole...'

'Mr Jonah is no longer with us. Mr Jonah was swallowed by a whale.'

"That was one strange and confusing competition."

'Your attention everybody! -- There's a 'severe foot watch' in effect until four o'clock this afternoon.'

Fish with chainsaw under skating rink

Doctor Magic