Surprisologist T-Shirts

''Surprise' starts with an 'S', Wilkins! You're in the wrong drawer again!'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Surprise!"

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"Tell Mrs. Pomeroy we've found the source of that strange hint of musk."

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

"Instead of playing with that boring ball you got me, I updated your computer's operating system, I cleaned your keyboard and ran an antivirus scan."

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

Sweet surprise.

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

'Are we there yet, I love surprises.'

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

WHACK!

"I thought you were getting me a dog?"

Bird Bath.

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

"I guess one of the bunnies was a boy after all!"

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

Tree Squirrel

'Your test results are in, and you're FULL of surprises!'

"The back flip was a nice touch."

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

'How's the egg?' '.Turtle crawls out'

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

'A kissogram for the boss? It must be a mistake.'

'Get the net ready, Fred. I think I hooked a big one this time.'

"Yes, a surprise engagement. Even my husband-to-be here didn't know..."

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'