Surgical Procedure Buff Gifts

Speaking as an experienced plastic surgeon, believe me when I tell you there's no such thing as a "snout job."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

Vincent Van Goth.

Hospital Cleaning.

Tommy John Surgery.

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

A monument gets down from his plinth.

"My art dealer assured me people will think it's worth a lot mo is."re than it

We flushed your arteries, checked your fluids, and topped off your AB positive, but look at this kidney - When's the last time you had it replaced?

"It was touch and go for a while, but he's out of the woods now!"

A monkey in a suit

"That chew toy was boring, so I got on your computer. Apparently, neither one of you has a clue about basic computer security and maintenance."

Brain surgery sneeze - 'Gesundheit...!'

A Feud between Al and Tony leaves Mr. Coyle with a prosthetic ear.

'Coal liquefaction plant' 'Oil Solidification plant'

"M. Duchamp, 1912"

Snowman at cosmetic surgeon: 'I want a smaller carrot.'

'I say we just take out that squiggly green thing and see how he is tomorrow.'

Canine Police Line Up.

'Scalpel, dammit! Scalpel!'

Gall Stones.

'Well, a quick yank didn't work, either. Let's get you some lower tack bandages.'

'We've recently adopted the full aviation model.'

Yes, ma'am. As soon as we reach an altitude of 10,000 feet, you may turn his pacemaker back on.

"Just a little bit off the top, please."

'If you have any problems with the nose job, take two selfies and send them in the morning.'

"Oh, come on. If it had happened to me you'd've laughed too."

"That's where we shred our email."

'His heart was tragically deformed.'

Take An Organ, Leave An Organ

"That's the strongest teeth whitener we carry. Smile in the dark and your mouth becomes a night light."

'Not hard to see who had the cheaper plastic surgery, is it!'

Deer having his antlers removed at the barbers