Surgical Nurse Gifts

The Left One As You Look At It.

'Clamp.' - 'So, staff shortages are getting serious.'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"I think we got it all."

"This time, Joe passes the gas, Sue cuts, Bob retracts and I grab the appendix... wait, better play... I pass the gas, Sue cuts, Lynne holds retractors, Bob grabs the appendix... wait........"

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"

'You wouldn't dare hit me! You'd break asepsis!'

'You clumsy ape! I ask for a hemostat and you hand me a banana. Where'd you go to med school, the Bronx Zoo?'

'I'm putting the scalpels in the freezer now, so that come lunchtime, you can make cold cuts.'

'Scalpel' - 'Scalpel.' - 'Scissors?' - 'No, that won't do it...' - 'Cheese grater.' - 'Cheese grater.'

'Nurse, I said boil the instruments, not roast them.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

International Women's Day

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

vaccine wars.

International Women's Day.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."