Surgeon Dramatist Gifts

"Nothing beats the thrill of operating beyond one's competence."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

'Let's play doctor. You can be my malpractice lawyer.'

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Current location

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

'Brain surgery, right?'

Pinocchio has a nose job.

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

'We've decided it might be better to show your televised operation after the 9 o'clock watershed...'

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

Operation/Grim Reaper

"I'm confident he'll pull through. The tests show there is plenty of fight left in him."

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

"Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator."

'Sponge diving, Bob?'

'... and I almost want to thank my pharmacist.'