Surgeon Dramatist T-Shirts

"Nothing beats the thrill of operating beyond one's competence."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

'Let's play doctor. You can be my malpractice lawyer.'

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

Current location

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

'Brain surgery, right?'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

Pinocchio has a nose job.

'We've decided it might be better to show your televised operation after the 9 o'clock watershed...'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"I'm confident he'll pull through. The tests show there is plenty of fight left in him."

Operation/Grim Reaper

Now a procedure! Someone suggest a procedure! Surgery at the Improv.

"I wish I could help you, but you're on the set of a hospital soap opera."

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

"Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator."

'... and I almost want to thank my pharmacist.'