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"I don't care what they did on ER. You don't need an emergency triple bypass. You need an aspirin."

"It seems the patient wishes to exercise his right to choose his own doctor. Is there another doctor in the house?"

NHS Confederation suggests that patients be allowed to register with A&E departments..."Can someone help me I've got a bit of a cough!"

'Let's play doctor. You can be my malpractice lawyer.'

"Ever notice the medical programs never show the dashing young doctors doing paperwork?"

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

'We've decided it might be better to show your televised operation after the 9 o'clock watershed...'

'I don't think you are telling me all your true symptoms, so Dr. Leo and I are going to play 'good doc' and 'bad doc' to get all the info.'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

"Look, you've made him hurt his fist..."

"Before you look at your results do you have any next of kin?"

'Let's sue the writers of 'General Hospital.' I had the same symptoms someone had on the soap, but I wasn't cured when I had brain surgery.'

Operation/Grim Reaper

'Brain surgery, right?'

Industrial spy in the OR...

I walk towards death

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

"Hello, I've come to visit my husband. I believe he was admitted with severe hypochondria."

Little Urologist

"You're a hypochondriac."

"Everything was just fine and dandy till he went and died on us."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'You can't sue. If you hadn't put the surgical gown on backwards, we would not have removed the wrong organ.'

"I'm confident he'll pull through. The tests show there is plenty of fight left in him."

"Alright, we'll do it your way...but when we get sued for malpractice, don't blame me."

'I'm not an actor, but I play at being one to improve my bedside manner.'

"You have acute hypochondria -- I'm taking you off any and all TV medical dramas."

'After a long and difficult surgery we managed to save your husband's leg... However, he didn't have a chance...'

'Every time we have an argument you've gotta drag Dr Kenilworth into it!'

'Quick Hilary! There's a complete bowel transplantation on TV...'

"This time, Joe passes the gas, Sue cuts, Bob retracts and I grab the appendix... wait, better play... I pass the gas, Sue cuts, Lynne holds retractors, Bob grabs the appendix... wait........"

"He fought us till the end."