Healthcare Dramatist Gifts

Have I told you about my operation?

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

'Let's play doctor. You can be my malpractice lawyer.'

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

I know they told me not to bark

'Brain surgery, right?'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

'We've decided it might be better to show your televised operation after the 9 o'clock watershed...'

Operation/Grim Reaper

Now a procedure! Someone suggest a procedure! Surgery at the Improv.

"It's a profit and loss statement. Read it with gusto!"

"I wish I could help you, but you're on the set of a hospital soap opera."

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

"I'm confident he'll pull through. The tests show there is plenty of fight left in him."

'My client's defense is that the bank was an attractive nuisance.'

'You can't sue. If you hadn't put the surgical gown on backwards, we would not have removed the wrong organ.'

'Let's face it, we never got along. I'm just sorry it had to come to this.'

"Somebody tell me...what's my motivation?"

"It was touch and go for a while, but he's out of the woods now!"

"This time, Joe passes the gas, Sue cuts, Bob retracts and I grab the appendix... wait, better play... I pass the gas, Sue cuts, Lynne holds retractors, Bob grabs the appendix... wait........"

'I'm leaving this damn job at the end of the month.' - 'How did you find out?'

"It seems the patient wishes to exercise his right to choose his own doctor. Is there another doctor in the house?"

"Nothing beats the thrill of operating beyond one's competence."

"I can't approve of your office gossiping, Frank...and after you tell me the latest I want it to stop!"

'So then the linebacker yells back at this guy: 'Oh yeah? Well, next play, I'm gonna cram the ball...' Wait! I got it.'

Casualty