Medical Dramatist Gifts

"It was touch and go for a while, but he's out of the woods now!"

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

Jester Surgeon

'Let's play doctor. You can be my malpractice lawyer.'

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'Is it urgent?'

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

'You are in court today, so I've got to take you into make up.'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'Brain surgery, right?'

Love Tap

'We've decided it might be better to show your televised operation after the 9 o'clock watershed...'

Now a procedure! Someone suggest a procedure! Surgery at the Improv.

Operation/Grim Reaper

"I'm confident he'll pull through. The tests show there is plenty of fight left in him."

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

"It's a profit and loss statement. Read it with gusto!"

"I wish I could help you, but you're on the set of a hospital soap opera."

'T.B. or not T.B.?'

"Clear!"

'... and I almost want to thank my pharmacist.'

"This time, Joe passes the gas, Sue cuts, Bob retracts and I grab the appendix... wait, better play... I pass the gas, Sue cuts, Lynne holds retractors, Bob grabs the appendix... wait........"

'Let's face it, we never got along. I'm just sorry it had to come to this.'

'Ready, steady, Operate'

'You can't sue. If you hadn't put the surgical gown on backwards, we would not have removed the wrong organ.'

'I'm leaving this damn job at the end of the month.' - 'How did you find out?'