Supportive Friend Gifts

Memory-Loss Anonymous

'Long time, no see!'

Lyme's Disease Support Group

"Sure you lost your job and your wife and healthwise you're a wreck. But think of the, ummm, the ... okay, maybe I'll just shut up."

"Short and ginger...I feel for you bro."

4th of July and PTSD

"It's a student you taught 20 years ago asking if you'd loan him bail money!"

DEPRESSION: Man peering out of manhole.

Help a struggling bowler out of the gutter.

Donations Drastically Reduced

Patient decorating hospital room.

"Don't judge me until you've walked a mile on my medication."

Alcoholics Anonymous - Hard Knocks

Stalkers anonymous.

Don't jump! Just think what it will do to your wife and kids not to mention your career as a motivational speaker!

'Self esteem is low in Doddletown.'

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

Ned had a very strong feeling that everyone was going against him...

Double chocolate milk. The hard stuff. What happened, Timmy? The kids at school. They made fun of me. They said … Go ahead. It's okay. It's too embarrassing. The worst. I'm a loser. You are not. What'd they say? They said I can't multitask! Loser.

"He's not gay, but he's often gay-adjacent."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Shepherd and eurydice

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"